Attachment theory examines how the relationship individuals form with their caregivers in infancy shapes their attachment styles throughout life. According to this theory developed by John Bowlby, secure attachment fosters healthy relationships and self-confidence in individuals, while insecure attachment (anxious, avoidant, disorganized) can manifest as fear of abandonment, distancing behavior, or inconsistency. Attachment styles significantly impact adult romantic relationships and parent-child relationships. With psychological support, 'earned secure attachment' is achievable.
Attachment theory focuses on the emotional bond between individuals. This relationship can be romantic/marital or parent-child. An infant naturally develops a need to form a bond and relationship with an adult (usually the mother) to survive. The characteristics of this early bond play a crucial role in determining the individual's attachment style in adulthood and throughout life.
John Bowlby, the first scientist to propose attachment theory, viewed attachment as an evolutionary survival skill inherent in humans. Bowlby conducted research on the anxiety, anger, and sorrow experienced by children when separated from their parents.
Caring, nurturing, and responsive caregiving during infancy shape both an individual's self-confidence and their trust in the external world.
An individual who receives attention, care, and compassion from early childhood develops secure attachment, whereas individuals experiencing neglect, inconsistent attention, or lack of care may develop insecure (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized) attachment. The theory suggests that an individual's attachment style established with their caregiver in infancy is expected to be evident in their adult life, including relationships with romantic partners and their own children.
Securely attached children experience distress when separated from their parents but are easily reassured upon the parents' return. Although they may not feel comfortable when the parent is absent, they trust the parent's return. When experiencing negative emotions, they can be easily comforted by their parent.
In their adult lives and romantic relationships, securely attached individuals engage with someone who values them, shows interest in them, and is compassionate. They are caring, share affection, and are comfortable. They trust themselves and their partner, do not insist on being liked by someone who does not reciprocate, do not exhibit harassing behavior, and do not stay where they are not loved.
In their relationship with their own child, they can provide affection and security, help the child recognize their individuality by setting proper boundaries, and give age-appropriate responsibilities. They do not exhibit neglectful, punitive, or neglectful behavior towards their child.
Anxiously attached children experience intense distress when separated from their parents. They are unsure if the parents will be available when needed and find it challenging to calm down when the parents return.
In their adult lives and romantic relationships, anxiously attached individuals may experience a fear of abandonment, feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy, and jealousy. They may be overly insistent with someone trying to keep their distance, crossing boundaries due to a high fear of the relationship ending.
In their relationship with their child, they may behave in a condescending manner due to anxiety about not being loved by the child, or threaten to withdraw love and attention to control the child's behavior.
Avoidantly attached children behave as if unaffected when separated from their parents. They appear indifferent. This attachment style generally develops due to negligent, rejecting, or abusive parenting. In their adult lives, they may be unresponsive and distant in romantic relationships. They do not seek help and try not to engage in relationships. They may maintain distance from their child.
Disorganized (anxious-avoidant) attachment children exhibit a mixture of avoidant and anxious attachment behaviors. These children are expected to have scattered attachment due to inconsistent approaches by parents or growing up in orphanages where they could not attach to a single parent. In their adult lives, they may display anxious and avoidant behaviors in both romantic relationships and towards their children. For individuals, it is often challenging to behave differently from their established attachment style. However, with psychological support, 'earned secure attachment' is possible.
